John Colton's blog

A student emailed me this article from the Onion. I especially liked the "scientists appeared very smart-sounding" line. JSC

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http://www.theonion.com/content/news/scientists_ask_congress_to_fund_50

Scientists Ask Congress To Fund $50 Billion Science Thing

September 28, 2007 | Issue 43•39

WASHINGTON, DC—Top physicists from several major American universities appeared before a Congressional committee Monday to request $50 billion for a science thing that would further U.S. advancement science-wise and broaden human knowing.

The scientists spoke for approximately three hours about the complicated science machine, which is expensive, and large, telling members of the House Committee on Science and Technology that the tubular, gamma-ray-using mechanism is vital in some big way. Yet the high price tag of the thing, which would be built on a 40-square-mile plot of land where the science would ultimately occur, remained a pressing question.

"While expense is something to consider, I think it's very important that we have this kind of scientific apparatus, because, in the end, I have always said that science is more important than it is unimportant," Committee chairman Rep. Bart Gordon (D-TN) said. "And it's essential we stay ahead of China, Japan, and Germany in science. We are ahead in space, with the NASA rockets going to other planets, so we should be ahead in science too."

According to the scientists, the electromagnetic science-maker will make atoms move and spin around very quickly, though spectators at the hearing said afterward they could not account for how one could get some atoms to move around faster than other ones if everything is made of atoms anyway. In addition, the scientists said that the device would be several miles in circumference, which puzzled onlookers who had long assumed that atoms were tiny. Despite these apparent inconsistencies, the scientists, in Rep. Gordon's words, appeared "very smart-sounding" and confident that their big spinner would solve some kind of problem they described.



The highlight of the scientists' testimony was a series of several colorful diagrams of how the big machine would work. One consisted of colored dots resembling Skittles banging into one another. Noting the motion lines behind the circle-ball things, committee members surmised that they were slamming together in a "fast, forceful manner." Yet some expressed doubts as to whether they justified the $50 billion price tag.

"These scientists could trim $10 million if they would just cut out some of the purple and blue spheres," said Rep. Roscoe Bartlett (R-MD), explaining that he understood the need for an abundance of reds and greens. "With all of those molecules and atoms going in every direction, the whole thing looks a bit unorganized, especially for science."

Another diagram presented to lawmakers contained several important squiggly lines, numbers, and letters. Despite not being numbers, the letters were reportedly meant to represent mathematics too. The scientists seemed to believe that correct math was what would help make the science thing go.

The scientists concluded their presentation by informing the committee that, if constructed correctly, the super science-flyer would be able to answer questions about many, many things, mainly stuff about the universe that sounded like it would be very good to know about.

"Now, I'm no science major, but if I'm being told by a group of people that the protons, neutrons, and electrons need unifying, then I think we owe it to the American people to go in and unify them," Rep. Mark Udall (D-CO) said. "After all, isn't a message of unity what we want to send to our children?"

Still, some committee members were not as convinced, saying that the building of a micro-macro isotope-making science generator should not be a top priority.

"Fifty billion dollars to buy atoms is too much," Rep. Tom Feeney (R-FL) said. "Frankly, I don't understand why they don't just gather up all the leftover atoms in their test tubes and Bunsen burners. I think the scientists should have to use those up before getting new ones."

The scientists remained hopeful that their federal funding will be approved.

"The congressmen appeared receptive to what we were saying, and I think that we made a very convincing case as to why we need a [science gadget] of this magnitude on American soil," said Caltech physicist David Kaminski, who added various other scientific information. "[Some complicated physics-related act] would be possible in our lifetime only through the creation of a [science thing]."

I just wrote the following for my "Answers to LDS-related questions" website:
http://www.physics.byu.edu/faculty/colton/personal/lds/questions.htm (It's in the "Some of my own personal opinions" section.)

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Was Jesus born on April 6?

Some Latter-day Saints believe so, but I doubt it, myself.

As near as I can tell, the belief comes from a single sentence in the LDS book of scripture, Doctrine and Covenants, from a revelation given to Joseph Smith on the founding day of the church, April 6, 1830. The revelation reads: "The rise of the Church of Christ in these last days, being one thousand eight hundred and thirty years since the coming of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ in the flesh, it being regularly organized and established agreeable to the laws of our country, by the will and commandments of God, in the fourth month, and on the sixth day of the month which is called April" (D&C 20:1, emphasis added)

In the very well-known (to LDS) book, Jesus the Christ, author (and LDS apostle) James Talmage interprets this to mean that April 6, 1830 was exactly 1,830 years to the day since Jesus was born in the flesh: "We believe April 6th to be the birthday of Jesus Christ as indicated in a revelation of the present dispensation already cited [D&C 20:1], in which that day is made without qualification the completion of the one thousand eight hundred and thirtieth year since the coming of the Lord in the flesh. This acceptance is admittedly based on faith in modern revelation, and in no wise is set forth as the result of chronological research or analysis. We believe that Jesus Christ was born in Bethlehem of Judea, April 6, B.C. 1."

My view: I think Talmage was overstating things when he speaks for the church ("we believe that...") rather than just for himself. I personally interpret the D&C passage as merely being a flowery way of saying, "It is now the year of our Lord, 1830", which few people would claim means "exactly 1,830 years ago Jesus was born". Specifically, if it meant the former rather than the latter, than one would think there would be records of Joseph Smith himself teaching the April 6 doctrine. However, when I searched for statements by Smith to indicate he himself believed/taught that Jesus was born on April 6, I could find none.

While researching this after a recent discussion (summer 2008) on the topic at my local church, I came across this website that supports my own viewpoint: http://www.mormonfortress.com/april6b.html. Among other things, website author Michael Ash points out that recent LDS leaders have not necessarily interpreted D&C 20:1 the same way that Talmage did. Specifically, well-known LDS leader (and apostle) Bruce R. McConkie wrote, "We do not believe it is possible with the present state of our knowledge--including that which is known both in and out of the Church--to state with finality when the natal day of the Lord Jesus actually occurred." (Mortal Messiah, Bookcraft, 1979, vol. 1 pg. 349 n. 2). That's my opinion--that we don't know the date of Jesus's birth. By the way, Ash has a couple of other good insights on the topic as well, so look at his page if you're interested.

For more of the opposite view, see this page by John Pratt, coincidentally a guy with whom I regularly play table tennis: http://www.johnpratt.com/items/docs/lds/aprilsixth.html

I got a high-definition video camera (Canon TX1) with a BYU grant for new faculty, and have been videotaping(*) demonstrations I do in my Physics 105 class.

For the curious, go to my Physics 105 homepage
http://www.physics.byu.edu/faculty/colton/courses/phy105-fall08/
and click the links under the "Videos of Demos" section. The only downside to a high-definition camera is that the videos are fairly large in size.


(*) What is the correct term when no tape is involved?

I have a new hero. I've been reading the sequels to The Three Musketeers--oh, you didn't know there were sequels? There are:

* Twenty Years After (called a single novel, but published in two volumes in the edition I read, each volume about the same size as The Three Musketeers). This takes place, er... twenty years after the original book.

* The Vicomte of Bragelonne (also called a single novel, but published in three volumes in the edition I'm currently reading, each volume about the same length as The Three Musketeers). Most people are familiar with this novel, even if they don't know it--the last part of The Vicomte of Bragelonne is The Man in the Iron Mask.

I've just started the third part of The Vicomte of Bragelonne, The Man in the Iron Mask. In it, D'Artagnan, formerly hero of The Three Musketeers and now captain of the king's musketeers, has some harsh words for Louis XIV. Louis, the king, had behaved dishonorably by courting Athos's son's fiancee. You recall Athos--he was one of the original three musketeers, but is now an old man. The king had just sent Athos, the Comte de la Fere, to prison because Athos had called him on his dishonorable actions.

D'Artagnan takes on the king...

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"Monsieur," said the king, "do you think you can excuse your friend by
exceeding him in insolence?"

"Oh! sire! I should go much further than he did," said D'Artagnan; "and
it would be your own fault. I should tell you what he, a man full of
the finest sense of delicacy, did not tell you; I should say--'Sire,
you have sacrificed his son, and he defended his son--you sacrificed
himself; he addressed you in the name of honor, of religion, of
virtue--you repulsed, drove him away, imprisoned him.' I should be
harder than he was, for I should say to you--'Sire; it is for you
to choose. Do you wish to have friends or lackeys--soldiers or
slaves--great men or mere puppets? Do you wish men to serve you, or to
bend and crouch before you? Do you wish men to love you, or to be afraid
of you? If you prefer baseness, intrigue, cowardice, say so at once,
sire, and we will leave you,--we who are the only individuals who are
left,--nay, I will say more, the only models of the valor of former
times; we who have done our duty, and have exceeded, perhaps, in courage
and in merit, the men already great for posterity. Choose, sire! and
that, too, without delay. Whatever relics remain to you of the great
nobility, guard them with a jealous eye; you will never be deficient in
courtiers. Delay not--and send me to the Bastile with my friend; for, if
you did not know how to listen to the Comte de la Fere, whose voice is
the sweetest and noblest in all the world when honor is the theme; if
you do not know how to listen to D'Artagnan, the frankest and honestest
voice of sincerity, you are a bad king, and to-morrow will be a poor
king. And learn from me, sire, that bad kings are hated by their people,
and poor kings are driven ignominiously away.' That is what I had to say
to you, sire; you were wrong to drive me to say it."
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Go D'Artagnan! He said this fully expecting to be cast into prison himself. There is a happy ending to the scene, though. The king humbled himself a bit, and agreed to let Athos out of jail.

I received and sent several more emails last night after I got home from work, bringing my grand total up to 45 emails for the day. Ouch.

I just looked, and found that I've sent 39 emails today. Yikes! That's much too many to help maintain a sane professor. Might be approaching some sort of record, even. Most of them were to Physics 105 students; keeping up with email from students has been one of the challenges with having 600 students in a semester.

I've written several more reviews for RARB since last I mentioned the topic. You can find all of my reviews here:
http://www.rarb.org/people/john-colton.html

There were some pretty good albums, but I didn't figure I needed to mention any of them here until now. But my review of Outspoken's album, "O2: Sing Responsibly" just got published. I was blown away by the album; here's my review:

http://www.rarb.org/reviews/847.html

Short review: This is an amazing album. You should buy it immediately.

Medium-length review: No, really, I mean it. Why are you still reading this review? This is the type of album that, when you finish, makes you want to start over immediately again from the beginning. In fact, I myself did just that: I listened to the album about four times in the first twelve hours after initially popping it into my CD player.

Long review: This is quite possibly the best collegiate a cappella album that I've ever heard. No, scratch that. This is quite possibly the best a cappella album that I've ever heard. The voices are so together in both rhythm and intonation that I would have guessed there were about six singers. Actually there are fifteen singers, and I was floored when I learned that.

The arrangements are interesting: baritone Travis Cox is a seriously talented (and prolific) arranger (8 of the 12 tracks). About the only track I disliked was Jesus Walks, a rap song. That was probably because I just really can't stand rap. But at least this was well done rap. I thought the best arrangements on the album were 100 Years and Macho Man. They were both done by Cox.

The soloists were all top-notch: terrific singers, but they didn't overpower the rest of the group as sometimes happens. In fact, the balance between soloists and backups was terrific in every single song. Bryan Alexanderson was a bit over-the-top as the soloist on Float On and Falls Apart, but even though he hammed it up quite a bit I was made to smile instead of grimace, and those were two of my favorite tracks.

Five of the songs on the album are ones I've heard on the radio. I liked all five on this album at least as much if not more than the original radio versions. This even includes 100 Years, which I liked so much I bought Five For Fighting's album. Brice Cloyd did an amazing job here — he sounds better than John Ondrasik does on the original, and in my opinion should be considered for a "Best Male Collegiate Solo" award. And this Macho Man is a rockin' version that is so much better than the original it's not even funny.

Basically, any one of these tracks could make it onto a BOCA album and I would not be surprised one bit.

Lastly, additional kudos go to whoever chose which songs to include on the album and the order in which they were placed. There's a sort of flow to the music from track to track all through the album that is hard to put my finger on but which goes well beyond a series of disjointed efforts that sometimes comprise albums these days.

Summary: Go buy the album already. Then you can thank me.

My bike's odometer tells me I've cycled 130 miles since I got it a few weeks ago. Not bad! My legs are stronger, my knees are stronger, my lungs are stronger, and I weighed myself at 162 lbs today, the least I've weighed in years! :-) And I was able to hike up to Timp Cave on Saturday (pictures forthcoming) without having any sore legs the next day, just a little bit of sore ankles.

KBYU recorded one of our UBE concerts back in May. They are finally airing the concert on the radio, FM89. It will be this Sunday 9/14/08) at 3 pm, for anyone in the broadcast range.

Actually, it looks like anyone can listen to the concert, because they stream the radio station over the internet. Here's the site:
http://www.classical89.org/streaming/

Pres. Hinckley was a great man, and talks like this are part of the reason why. If you are LDS, and haven't ever heard/read this talk--or if it's just been a while--I recommend you read it today. JSC

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http://www.mormonwiki.com/Mormon_Should_Mean_%22More_Good%22

While I sometimes regret that people do not call this church by its proper name, I am happy that the nickname they use is one of great honor made so by a remarkable man and a book which gives an unmatched testimony concerning the Redeemer of the world. ...this places upon us of this Church and this generation an incumbent and demanding responsibility to recognize that as we are spoken of as Mormons, we must so live that our example will enhance the perception that Mormon can mean in a very real way, “more good.”

I like Paraprosdokians.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paraprosdokian

I thought this was a really cool photo. JSC

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First Place – Contrived Category
Paperclip Peculiarity, Shilpa Hampole
Notre Dame High School, San Jose, CA; Teacher: Bill Whitney

"This photo was contrived by placing a paperclip on the surface of some water in a bowl. The light source is a window with blinds and bright light coming through. The paper clip is not actually “floating,” rather it is supported by surface tension. Unlike a cork that floats back up to the surface when it is pushed underneath, a paperclip will sink unless the surface tension is strong enough to support it. Surface tension is the term that describes the rubbery “skin”-like layer that is formed on the surface of water where molecules attract each other and hold together tightly. This attraction, which is called intermolecular force, is responsible for surface tension. Water, a polar substance, has both positive and negative molecules that attract. The molecules attract each other in all directions except at the very surface of the water where the molecules are attracted across the surface and inward. This causes the water to become spherical. So, unless enough pressure is put on the paperclip to push the water out of its spherical shape, the paperclip will not be able to stretch the water’s surface enough to slip through and sink. The pattern from the blinds together with the curvature and bending of the water shows the depression in the water around the paperclip. This demonstrates the rubbery skin-like surface layer that holds up an object when the bond between the positive and negative molecules is strong enough."

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Click here to download a poster containing many more cool photos and their descriptions.

http://www.aapt.org/upload/poster082.pdf

I forgot to include this info, showing the reach of Kiva's program:

This week on Kiva

20,989 people made loans
6,781 people given loans
A loan was made every 9 seconds
$2,347,500 was lent

I first heard about "microcredit" several years ago; my brother-in-law Gary was involved with some programs (probably still is). In case you are unfamiliar with the concept, microcredit is loaning small amounts of money to people living in poverty (e.g. in 3rd world countries), who would not otherwise be able to get a loan because they are too poor and have no collateral. The idea is that these people can use the loaned money to fund small-scale entrepreneurial ventures and improve their standard of living. See this wikipedia article:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Microcredit

I love a lot of things about that concept, probably too numerous to mention in a short blog post. Muhammad Yunus won the 2006 Nobel Peace prize, in large part for his microcredit efforts with the Grameen Bank.

Onward: I heard about Kiva a couple of months ago and asked Gary if it was a legit microcredit site. He said yes, and said that he even knows the people running the site. Kiva is a way for people in the U.S. and other "first world" countries to bankroll some of these microcredit loans. You donate $25 or more towards a loan--you get to choose the recipient--and then it gets repaid typically over a 3 - 12 month schedule. 15-40 different people might combine to bankroll any given microcredit loan, depending on the size of the request and the size of the donations. 100% of your loan goes to the entrepreneur; administrative overhead is funded through separate donations. When your money is repaid, you can decide whether to use it to fund another loan, or whether to get it back.

After talking it over with Pauline, we decided we needed to participate. Here are the people whose loans we are currently helping to fund:

http://www.kiva.org/app.php?page=businesses&action=about&id=62967
http://www.kiva.org/app.php?page=businesses&action=about&id=59208
http://www.kiva.org/app.php?page=businesses&action=about&id=61338
http://www.kiva.org/app.php?page=businesses&action=about&id=61232

I urge anyone who reads this to give serious thought towards participating.

If you are LDS, also think about joining the Kiva Mormons group and have an Angel Moroni icon show up at the bottom of your loans (some of them, at least).